Pretentious Philosophy major William Brainer got his comeuppance early this morning when broke his neck by slipping on a copy of Immanuel Kants “Groundwork to the Metaphysics of Morals” which had fallen on the library floor.
“I was reading this book- right- this fuckin’ boring book, for class and I fell asleep,” said sophomore Greg Hretman. “And it must have fallen out of my hands. Whatever. Fuck that dude. He would talk for like twenty minutes at a time in class about metaethics and like fuck dude- it was Stats 101.”
Brainer, according to his doctors will be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
“He’ll really get to do ‘armchair’ philosophy now,” said advisor Frederick Windleman.